too fast

it never gets easier, "the first day of school"

watching my little girl growing up is such a gift

but it goes by much too fast.

it seems like yesterday i was watching her take her first steps

and now she is officially a kid, not my baby anymore...

although she would beg to differ on that.

(first day of preschool)

i remember how nervous she was starting preschool.

but it didn't take long for her to find her way.

A and I would watch her through the window

waiting for her to spy us and run out to meet us.

she really grew into her own little person during preschool.

she emerged from her shell and it was wonderful to see her blossom.

(first day of kindergarten)

the year she started kindergarten was also a year much changed in our lives.

she endured some significant losses and school was a place she could go

and just be a kid. play, learn and feel nurtured.

i am so grateful for the amazing teacher she had.

in kindergarten it became very apparent that school would be a 

place enjoyed. she loves to learn and it was evident that she is very gifted.

she was the first and only child to read a book aloud to her classmates.

she learned some basic spanish and french and is continuing to study these languages.

i am so proud.

(first day of first grade- she wasn't too exicited)

this morning as we walked up the stairs to her classroom

she tightly clung to my hand, and i felt myself doing the same.

it is hard to let go 

it always is.

but i sang the song i have been singing to her since she was 4

"i hope you have a good day, a good day, a good day.

i hope you have a good day and a great afternoon"

to ease her jitters and my own.

i helped her unpack her supplies and introduced her to the little girl sitting next to her.

i asked her if she was ready for mommy to go and with tears in her eyes

she bravely nodded.

i kissed her forehead and told her i would be back to pick her up very shortly.

as i walked down the stairs and drove home tears rolled down my cheeks.

my little girl is growing up and my love for her seems to grow more and more each day.

how that is even possible i do not know.

my tears were of joy and of loss...but mainly joy.
then i felt my belly filled with kicks and punches and 

i was reminded that soon i will have these special

times all over again.

the greatest joy and love i have ever experienced has come by way of my children.

can't wait to pick her up and hear about her first day of first grade.