communicate

hiddenfreedoms@yahoo.com

8.12.09

personal stuff


sometimes i feel lost in this world without my pops...
he was the only person on this planet who got me.
i mean really got me
knew me so well...even the tiny burrows one only knows about themselves.
when we would be at family gatherings, or in rooms together and i would say something
that had hidden undertones, or i felt nervous or uncomfortable, or i told one of my stupid
jokes that no one gets...i would glance at him and he would give me the most understanding
wink...and i knew i was loved and known.
that's big shit!
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isolation-rainy windows-rock hunting- stick carving- mobile making-picture jumping- secrets-cedar wood, sandalwood, lavender, lemongrass, broken green leaves and baby twigs- open skies that fill my belly- duality- paths that never cross- the smell of knees- red wine, campfire tea-home roasted coffee, green smoothies, yellow delicious apples everyday, fever dreams- drinking from cantaloupes- medium format photography- renegade art- dirty knees- patches- stripes-plaster- diy- reality and daydreams switching places- digging clay- oscillating fans- dioramas- tree worlds- travel tree travelogues- carrots- memories of my father that crawl across the floor, up my arms and into my cheeks- captured images- captured thoughts on my nightstand-turtle homes- hopes- sweat from hard work- long bike rides and aching legs- brushing my teeth outside- dirty fingernails- ink on my hands- unfiltered thoughts- originality- creating from beginnings-mint fields in mist- empty canvases,tubes of paint and endless nights- screaming songs into the wind- sharing secrets with birds- puddles, creeks, streams, hidden worlds behind waterfalls- feather tattoos-looking through paper towel rolls- defying Murphy and his law- green and blue- tearing out pictures- "Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now."(bob dylan)- "I have tried in my way to be free"(leonard cohen)... knowing these words to my very core.- learning-exploring-learning-exploring-slowly moving and watching and experiencing all fully and within the ritual, catching my reflection as a little girl...