some words

I walk the line

soaked in thoughts...
scattered candy wrappers, chocolate taste still on my tongue.
i watch the returning cardinal - skittish-
my feet feel quiet and still
i await the drying out of
clarity.

"what?" i ask reaching for my voice.
i sound so far away.
"sorry, yes i'm listening"
i am far away. i don't even know where i am.
"no, i'm just watching the birds at the feeder"
my fingers are white and cold. i run them through my hair.
it's been awhile since i've fixed it. since i've felt i needed to.
"i think i'll go lie down for awhile and read"

i know today is this. i know tomorrow it won't be this.
and i know that a time from now it will be this again.
it always is. this, then that, then this again.

always on this line
sometimes i can run on it so it blurs
sometimes my knees are shaky and i'm scared
sometimes i wanna get down on one side
but
its never the right time -or- the right place
-or- the right me.
i have a map though and if i am reading it right
there is a place on this line where i have to get off
 ~michelle