the time before i start painting new work, is exhausting.
i wonder if others go through this?
i am familiar with this process now, so i know not to try and fight it
but rather let it wash over me knowing what comes next.
i am not one who can pick up a brush at any given moment and create something
that i connect with...
however, every day, every moment, i am creating.
observing, listening, thinking, reflecting, noticing, reading, repeating, touching, learning, living...
and this is the exhausting part.
my mind will not stop.
there are two things that provide me peace for a time-
long bike rides, and emptying my mind by writing.
other than that>>>-----> i cannot sleep well- eat well- and connect well.
when i am in a conversation it takes everything in me to be present and listen because my mind
is constantly in motion and being stimulated by every single sound, color, smell...
...i cannot be still...
sometimes i wrap my pillow around my head and try and smother out the constant rush.
if i could see inside my mind i would think it looks like a storm
-but-
i know that at its climax i will pick up my brush
and paint
and my mind will quiet
and i will enter into myself so deeply that its as though i am fully immersed in the calm
after the storm.
when this is over
suddenly i am thrust back into life that has felt so far away
sea legs
then
well
...life comes back...
